30th October, 2024

I’ve been playing out a scenario in my head the last few months. Let’s call it role play or a fantasy.

What would I do if 🫵🏽 you, 🪷 Namal Rajapaksa 🐷, knocked on my front door, bruised and beaten, 🏃🏽running away from a mob, looking for shelter? How would I turn you in?

♾️Didn’t the entier country come together and chant for your head at one point? #AskNamal
Didn’t they want to publicly humiliate and execute you? 🐦‍⬛ #AskNamal

Yet here you are, still refusing to listen.They tried. I tried with silence. Yes, I share their passion. But, what would I do despite my passion? 🌊♾️💜💎

First, I will be surprised to sea you at my front door. I will know this is pretend, that I am free to do anything I please. You are the helpless one and you have become my prey.

I will smile and welcome you in. I will lock the door behind you and assure you that my home is the last place people will look. I will lead you up the stairs.

💜I’m sorry for the creaks coming from the wooden floors; it irritates the ears a little. But Namal, that’s our privilege talking. So try and step on the floors as softly as you can and shut the doors gently.

I will lead you to the living room.

💜I’m sorry for the mess. I used to clean the house everyday; i used to light incense and 🪔 bless the house with positive vibes and prayers my mother taught me. The house has been a little messy lately.

I will guide you to the couch, a place for you to sit. I will walk into the kitchen and switch on the kettle 🫖 for your tea. Until it’s ready, I will get you a glass of water with 3 ice cubes. You need to hydrate. You’re probably tired from running. 🏃🏽

I’m not too far away, you can see me in the kitchen. I will take a sip of the water in front of you before handing the glass. I will then kneel and untie your shoe laces, I will gently take the 👞 shoes off your feet. Just like I used to do for my father 👨🏿‍🍼 when I was a child - a man of intergirity, grace, kindness above all, unshakable honour!

I will hold your shoes with care and keep them safely on the shoe rack, making sure it doesn’t touch any of the other shoes. I think you would like that.

I will start making you a hot cup of ginger tea 🫚☕️.

On my way back to you, I’ll grab a bag of peace from the freezer. I will hand it to you and take a sip of your tea before leaving it on the coffee table for you.

I will then look for the first aid kit and when I find it, I will play doctor 👩🏽‍⚕ and tend to your wounds. 🤕

I will first expose them, clean them gently, trying not to hurt you. It will sting. If it gets too much, I will put my headphones on your ears and play soothing sounds to help you relax. I never expected to write this, but, I choose to play The Blessing - Kari Job Cinematic Version.

Wow, I didn’t expect to be able to get through that, praying for you. 6 minutes and 40 seconds have never felt longer.

I feel like a sinner. i feel. X don’t care.

Once it’s clean, i will gently wrap your wounds so it has the safe space to take time to heal and not infect. ❤️‍🩹

I will bring you a blanket so you can lie on my couch and stay warm. I would offer you my bed, but that’s my sacred space. 🛏️ ⛓️‍💥💜

I’ll burn an incense stick, maybe 🪻 lavender, so the smell soothes you. Lavender is known to help with sleep.

I will close the kitchen door behind me and will start cooking. I know you are hungry. I choose Lamprais for your meal for the following reasons:

1. To celebrate our colonisers, the act of keeping the good they brought for us. To remind us how we were once violated and in turn did the same. And don’t get me started on “properganda” like the Lotus Tower not being part of yours. What does the lotus have to do with Sri Lanka? I thought it was the water lilly. Is your party planning on re-writing history like our colonisers did? According to a manuscript I had to proofread, apparently the reason they came to Sri Lanka was to give us religion and ROADS. Apparently, we are greatful to them for that too. What a bloody joke! I mean, your party does have a habit of stripping names from history books.
   I was happy the last week of the civil war. I silently celebrated when the war was “won”. Did anyone really win? We used to find treasure buried by our kings; now we find bones.
   Was this the gift left behind?
   How do I make peace with the passport I hold? A war I stood by?
   Where is Prabakaran’s son?
   I don’t care for the man. May he burn in hell with your father. Yin and Yang! Same shit, different colours. I don’t care for the men and women who fought, but where are the children? I assumed children didn’t need to raise a 🏳️flag. No body, no crime? How do you look into the eyes of your sons?
   You said on your podcast…sorry….campaign…the worst thing someone can do to a mother is take her child from her. Do you believe your own words? Or are you planning on taking advice from the mentors who have told you to “be careful what lies you choose to believe”?
   How many mothers does the Sri Lankan government owe an apology to? AT LEAST THAT!!! Do they not matter because they were born on the other side? Borders and boundaries what a fucking curse are meant to be honoured. I don’t give a shit about the crimes of the LTTE, they were/are not MY government. I didn’t pay my taxes to them. I never defended them even in private. But, I am glad to have asked the question, “why is everyone fighting?” even as a child. I’m glad my parents encouraged questions even when they had no answers. Even when the only answer in the end was, “let’s pray for them, both are wrong”. I can sea why you won’t shut up about the “humble brag” of ending the war.
   Okay…let me give you the same medicine the politicians of our nation have give us,

   “We already said thank you once. Why should we say it again? Why? Stop bringing it up. We already said thank you and the courts have cleared you too.”

   
   Who do you think funded the war? Was it your personal money that went into the war?
   You’re right, war is a profitable business, but you know what can garauntee generational wealth? Ending the war with a solid brand: “War Hero”.
   Why else was there an abrupt election? Or was your party trying to buy time to hide the evidence? Wait, is that the reason for mass graves? Why couldn’t they work on it as fast as building airports? Do you want me to pretend it was a construction success? Why isn’t anyone studying the marvellous wonder of the Mattala Airport? Did aliens build it? Do you know how many years it takes to even build an airport? Did your party even consider the wildlife?
   
   When you said that your family had to sit down and have an honest discussion about “ending the war” and how that would really affect your life…okay buddy, thank you for letting us know it was a family decision. Do you want me to praise you for living life carefully because of your father’s mission? You really expect ME to be grateful to YOU and YOUR FAMILY for having “family discussions”.
   WOW. Should I now go tell the Catholics of Sri Lanka they owe me their lives too? Is that how this works? Seriously, I can relate.
   Did it keep you up at night too, wondering, what if they kill my father? Since you are groaning to be appreciated, here it is:

   
   ♾️“Thank you. that was not easy, i understand. thank you for your service, you were sacrificied even as a child.”
   
   NOW LEAVE!

2. It will take me roughly 4 hrs to make, so you can rest while i introspect. I will get angry at one point. I will blame you for everything, I will think of the murders your family committed and the harm 🪷 did. Should I stand here and pretend like your uncle 🪷 is not guilty of passing a policy to convert the entier country into organic farming overnight? Should I pretend that the selfish and careless dicision didn’t change the destiny of our farmers? Who were the organic farmers your party consulted that approved/helped with that decision? Do you know how many years it took our neighbours, India, to introduce similar policies? How about your bestie, the Chinese? You really expect me to believe your uncle 🪷 cared for the farmers? Really?

3. I will think of the woman they say you silenced for choosing love over power, by murdering the man she loved. A woman you claimed to have loved, or was it because your ego was bruised? Maybe I am skeptial because I will gladly kill anyone with my bare hands if they hurt my brother. Not just him. But, is that all it takes? #AskNamal.Sorry, that was just business, nothing personal. Why was there a time when someone who publicly spoke against your family found dead or forever missing? Apparently, that’s what is still happening. Public execution! i need time. But the more I sit with the feeling and work through it, the happier i feel. Because I let myself feel. Wow, it’s just like looking into a 🪞.

♾️Does your mirror stare back at you too? Can you hold your gaze? Do you feel? #AskNamal

When I finish cooking, I will assemble the variety of dishes into the banana leaf. i will wrap it with care and i will bless the food like i always do in my mind. i will cleanse the impure thoughts. ☯️

i will hold the packed food like a baby resting their head on my palm 👩🏽‍🍼. I will gently lay it on the oven rack, just like i would a baby in their cot 🧺.

I will roll myself a cigarette and step outside for a smoke. When I’m done with it, I will inhale my vape, Lost Mary, because i am a peach 🍑. I will have to walk past you to the shower; i will try to walk softly, so I don’t wake you. I know you aren’t asleep. You’re not a blind idiot.

If I see innocence in you at that moment, which I probably won’t, i will take a picture of you, so I can show you when you’re up.

I will have a quick shower because I don’t enjoy smelling like food, and it’s been a long day. I will put some makeup on 🤡 so you don’t see how tired I am from the internal battle I faced. 🌊

The food will be ready by then. I will let it rest until I pour you a tall glass of coconut water. It’s not fresh, but it’s what i’ve got. I’ll squeeze in a drop of lime and add a pinch of salt. I will add some basil seeds fresh out of Eden; it is better than “organic”.

The food is spicy; the drink is cooling. I will wake you up; there are no pictures to show. I will bring you the food and drink. I will place it on the coffee table. I’m sorry, I don’t own a dining table, but I love wearing my mother’s Rolex with pride.

I will sit on the floor; that’s your cue to sit on the floor too. I will gently unwrap your Lamprais first and let the aroma from the smoke fill the room. I will then unwrap mine.

Forget the utensils; we will use our hands to dine, like proud Sri Lankans.

I will take every curry and mix it into a ball of rice from your rice packet; i will take the first bite. I will do the same with mine.

I will then let you choose which rice packet you want to eat from and i will eat from the other. They are both the same anyway.

We will eat. In silence.

Just like I have been since I let you into my home. I know it will take you a while to finish your meal. Or maybe it won’t. You’re probably starving. I on the other hand, have a difficult time finishing my meals. So I will patiently wait. Once you are done, I will get up and clear the table.

There will be no dessert. Dessert is only for when i celebrate. There is nothing to celebrate here.

You are still a murder, you raped the economy and with it, the farmers. Yet somehow, as if it wasn’t a collective effort and a domino effect, the headlines were, “Sri Lanka top court finds Rajapaksa brothers guilty of economic crisis”.

How are politicians rich wealthy? #AskNamal

**Too bad iIX am put off by politicians, there goes my odds of making generational wealth. Damit!

[Poddak Saiko - Gayy]

You are a tone-deaf sadist. You are a narcissist, a thief, and your motives are to destroy all that’s good and holy. Play victim; I expect nothing less. Oh well, guess every politician person is the same.

Tell me Namal, are these just “rumours”? #AskNamal

Has the party you lead never used violence and intimidation? Did they never cite the “Rajapaksa” name when doing it? Or should we just let drunk men be drunk men? How did that work out for you? #AskNamal

Have they never asked for a bribe, or is that in my head too? Oh, thats right- that is nothing personal, just standard practice. #AskNamal

Usually when an employee slips up, who do you think has to carry the liability and responsibility? The leaders of the team, right? Why is it nothing personal? Isn’t politics very much personal? #AskNamal

Well, the “rumors”, “properganda”, “witch hunts” and “jokes” destoryed my sense of security even more. You claim to come from a bloodline of “war heroes”. Yet, here I am, always feeling like your prey. Pardon me, I am just a woman and tend to be sensitive.

The classic excuse I keep hearing is, “we don’t/can’t control our people”. Good for them! How did that work out for you? #AskNamal

How the hell do you expect to run a country if you can’t even hold your own people accountable? Oh, that’s right, that is nothing personal, just standard practice. Good for them!, Where are they? Were you running from them too? How did that work out for you? #AskNamal

Cry me a river, sea if X care!

You are selfish and unkind. You cannot be celebrated.

You are my Joffrey Baratheon. My hate for you is very much alive. I’m not sure i will ever forgive you, sorry, although, that’s a personal goal. Until then, i will find a way to co-exist with hate within me.

But, why would i do all this in my imagination when i can choose to kill you anyway i want?

Selena Gomez says we should kill people with kindness. I don’t want you to die; I want you to live in pain. So i don’t know how that works.

Is it because that’s Sri Lankan hospitality? Is it because that’s how my mother treated her our enemies? i don’t know.

But I know i don’t want the little kindness i have left in me to be stolen too. I can be unkind and disconnected.

The disconnection is a symptom of abuse and i am in recovery. The unkindness comes from a place of self-centred ideology. While you get to keep the spoils of war, you do not hold the power to take my kindness from me. X feel morally surperior to you.

You already stole a lot of hope. You can keep it. But the kindness is mine.

All are welcome at my table; only one gets to stay.

It’s time you take your leave.

If i have sweets around - and i know i do, because the gummies i buy for my anxiety come with it - i’ll give the sweets to you, for your kids. That’s my parting gift to you. It’s not much, but it’s all I have.

To be continued…

Spoiler Alert:

“4th May, 2021 - Today, 2025 🧠♾️

There is another knock on the door….

👩🏽‍⚖👩🏽‍⚖👩🏻‍⚖👩🏼‍⚖👩🏾‍⚖👩🏿‍⚖👩‍⚖️👨🏽‍⚖👨🏻‍⚖👨🏼‍⚖👨🏾‍⚖👨🏿‍⚖👨‍⚖️
🖤🩷💛💚🩵💙💜❤️🤎♥️🧡🤍

Sorry babe, i will slam the door shut. Let fate decide. Even I was innocent. iIX expect a politician to destory all that is pure and holy, but a Doctor?

….

That’s a wrap folks. XiI have made it to the other side!

The End.

Disclaimer:  I refuse to accuse anyone I am unsure is guilty, despite it being personal. That is mainly because I am not innocent. This piece is an accusation, despite it being personal. That is mainly because (i) am innocent. I strategically place my allegiance to a Throne only God can sit on. iI bow down to no one but God. Please keep in mind that although my online persona claims to be a "witch", I cannot and do not speak to ghosts. After 3 years of trial and testing, I have come to the conclusion that I also do not hallucinate, disassociate or suffer from short term memory loss. Further, not a single doctor has diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder or schizophrenia. 

The claim my online persona makes of being "Queen" and "Dr" is open to interpretation. Aqua girl to the rescue 🦹‍♀️ 

🥑🐽 P.S: Tell your mother I now know how to take public transport. Wow. I take the bus to work everyday. Can you believe it? What an achievement, right? This airhead still gets lost sometimes, but she always finds her way babe. So, tell your mother that a miracle happened; I took public transport. Still better than your passport, that was what gave you so much value in the first place, right? That and your 'Dr.' Title :) 
Keep your silver putain de merde, you बहनचोद 🤌🏽! Ich würde mich lieber ins Knie ficken. Que te folle un pez. I've got my own gold, diamonds and pearls. I'm a minimalist anyway. I am Queen, I am gold, I am 💎, I am pearl💧

You were the worse investment I ever made and I didn't even do it for the money. Seems like you did!"