05.01.2026

What am I even doing this for? Who even cares? For myself? Is this just escapism? There are monsters everywhere. When is my story going to come around? When do I get saved? I already risked it all. So, where is it? Jesus just had to wait 3 days after being crucified. Lucky dude!

Jesus just suffered for a few days, he only faced humiliation for a few days. Not weeks, months or years. Of course it was easy for him to ask his Ggod to forgive. The man was adored up until he was arrested and now has a whole religion after his name. What shame did he really face? What pain did he really endure? What torture? The devil himself tested him a few times. Like…only when he was in the wilderness…he only stayed in the wilderness for a few weeks. Okay, a little over a month.

Where was his suffering? He sounds like a privileged boy telling me how to live my life. He didn’t get killed because he was a “good person”. He got killed because priests were jealous they couldn’t perform like he could. Even politicians washed their hands. They just wanted to save face and catered to the masses. So, really, what suffering did Jesus face? His whole team and friends ran away from him? For how many days? He only faced betrayal once in his life time. He was only abandoned once in his life. How would he really know? Even god did not let him suffer enough. Or maybe its true, God does not give anyone anything they can’t handle and clearly, clearly, Jesus was another wimp. A wimp we now worship. A wimp whose suffering we glorify. We glorify his suffering than his birth. We glorify his suffering even through his mission. A very comfortable mission. A mission that gave him a never ending ego boost until the last few days. DAYS!!!

Was his ego that fragile? He does not know what suffering is. He does not know what brutality is. He does not know what injustice means. He clearly does not know what rejection and abandonment means. He was a weak man who performed magic, or so we are told. He just came from a bloodline of a fallen King. A bloodline that lost favour. 

He was selfish. He was a narcissist. He did not deserve death, he deserved to live and suffer. Live life like a regular person without any favour, live and suffer and then come tell me what life means and what the man he created, seated on a comfortable throne upstairs, wants from me.  His daddy issues were so bad that he went around telling the world his father is god and so he himself is God.

The audacity to call himself God!!!